I weigh 330 lbs

There, I said it. It's out in the open for others to see. I'm really embarrassed by it but hiding it isn't going to make it better. I'm ashamed that I let myself get this way. I've gained 100 lbs since I got married. There are a lot of reasons: Jacob's accident, Nick's disability, my inability to cope with all the emotions I've experienced. On top of that, food just plain tastes good.

I love food. I love rich food. I love mac and cheese with a thick cheesy bechamel sauce and more cheese loaded on top. I love Pepsi. Those are probably my two favorite things.

I need to stop lying to myself. From now on I'm pledging to myself and anyone listening that I am not going to be in denial any more. Good or bad, I'm posting it all on here.

Right now I'm training for a 5k. The ticker on the side tells you how long I have. May 19th seems like a long time away, but I know it's not really. But this is not just some race I'm entering. This is for Nick. I am going to help raise money for a therapy program for kids like him. In Provo there is a place called Now I Can and it's for kids with physical disabilities like Nick. While we've already paid for his therapy, there are many who cannot afford it because insurance does not pay. That's my goal. I don't care about winning but I would like to finish in 30 minutes.

Any words of encouragement are welcome!!